I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
