apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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