"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I believe in your delicious
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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