dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
