weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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