Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
