I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.