i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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