talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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