a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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