When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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