K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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