"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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