Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
love makes seman taste better
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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