scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
