If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
you never un-have a 4some
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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