remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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