You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
