Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize