i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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