at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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