i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize