Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
3 2 1 whiskey
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
