If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
