DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
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I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
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And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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