so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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