we have officially lost it.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
