youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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