i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
is that a dick in a sweater?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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