there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
