i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
