Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I will pee on everything he values.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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