I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
