Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
