Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
They took my balls.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize