also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
