How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
