Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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