She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
