And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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