bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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