I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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