I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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