I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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