I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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