just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
