____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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