I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
