If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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