Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
