Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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