This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
