Where did you get a picture of my penis
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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