I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
