She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
