I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
