Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
