I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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