Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
