ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize