Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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