i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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